It doesn’t get spoken often, but the lack of support and resources men have to help them be more socially and sexually competent is severely limited.
According to research led by Dr. Peter Ueda, from The Karolinska Institutet in Stockholm, Sweden, sexual inactivity rose from 19 % to 31% among men ages 18 to 24 since 2018.
Which has steadily increased and continues to rise. On top of that, average men get “swiped right” by less than 1% of females on dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble. This also goes along with the rise of activism movements like #MeToo – which has undeniably paved the way for intentions and initiatives. But it has turned approaching or even talking to a female outside of virtual space into a thing of the past for many men.
While there may be many other factors to this as well, the numbers don’t lie. Luckily, men such as Stirling Cooper are here to rectify these statistics by not only helping men feel more confident with women but with how they approach life in general.
Stirling Cooper is an award-winning Australian pornographic actor and sex coach. In his short career, he’s already taken home some of the adult industry’s top honours such as the Best Foreign Sex Scene and Best Actor at the 2019 AVN Awards (the Oscars of porn) and again in 2021.
He also won the award for Best Sex Scene at the 2021 XBIZ Awards. Prior to porn, the rural West Australian native owned and operated several successful businesses, including one about the Paleo diet and nutrition. Upon witnessing a family member’s battle with cancer, Cooper was forced to look at himself and constantly wonder about things he would regret not trying in life. Repeatedly, the answer was the same: porn.
Getting Into the Swing
Cooper’s more “in-depth” studies on women began during his time in Australia’s swingers scene, which he got into as a single guy in his 20s. “As a young man, I felt like I struck gold and that was where I belonged,” Cooper states. He was such a hit in the scene that male and female escorts recommended he try escorting.
After some time as an escort in Australia (where escorting is legal), he began a career in porn in Australia. It wasn’t long before he found success and took his talents to England, Europe and eventually the United States. When asked about his secret to success, Cooper says, “Whenever I get into something I study it, see what other people are doing and how I can improve myself.”
Paving the Course
Throughout his meteoric rise in the porn industry, Cooper was always asked for advice by everyday guys on how to be better with seduction and other bedroom topics. This led the Aussie to create multiple courses available on his websites, such as Dirty Talk 101 and Sexual Dominance Escalation, complete with detailed steps and visual examples.
He also released his book, How I Grew My Penis and Other Porn Industry Secrets, which is a compilation of sexual bio-hacks Cooper has learned throughout his years of sexual and social encounters. “I’ve had virgins use my stuff to get laid for the first time,” Cooper states. “If I can take a guy who has literally never had sex before and automatically becomes a sexual savant, then it’s a proof of concept.”
It wasn’t long before he started a YouTube channel where he continues to educate men and conduct interviews with knowledgeable minds in the men’s self-help space. The channel has amassed close to 100k followers since its start a little over a year ago with videos garnering up to 149k views.
The Backlash from the Porn Industry
Cooper’s work has definitely helped many men around the world, but many women, including those in the porn industry, say his teachings are dangerous. “I was getting a lot of shit from my industry the second I started coming out with this stuff.” He remarks, “My video course teaches more extreme acts like choking and slapping and people had this sentiment that I was teaching ‘dangerous stuff’ – and this was coming from girls who do these things on camera and were admittedly into it.”
He goes on to say, “It comes with the assumption that the average guy is a rapist waiting to happen.” Cooper explains that women in porn would say it’s OK for industry stars to do it, but it’s dangerous in the hands of the average man. “I find that so offensive because I had to learn all of this myself,” The Australian native comments.
There’s no doubt that Cooper’s work has and continues to help men along their paths of being their best selves: Many have called him a sex guru. When asked about the title, he says, “I just view myself more as a surrogate big brother giving people advice that someone who genuinely cares about you and wants you to be successful in all aspects of life would give.” He goes on to say, “They can turn to me and get that honest talk you should get from a sibling.”
Although Stirling took some time off from porn to focus on helping others with his knowledge, he plans on getting back to work and shooting more scenes in the first quarter of 2022. He’s also working on a new course to teach men not only how to break into the porn industry (another topic he’ll be the first to release information on) but how to make it profitable as well. “It’s very serendipitous that I ended up here,” Cooper says. “Men and women tell me all the time that I’m doing ‘God’s work’ and I’m truly grateful.” stirlingcooper.com
Article Written by Carlos Lacayo | Contributor
For more on Stirling: Follow him on IG: cooperstirling